The Bobby Darling Show

Am I the only person left that remembers The Bobby Darling Show, a band out of MPLS about 8ish years ago? I've tried to track them online and have come up with mostly references to an Indian pre-op transexual and I'm fairly sure the CD I have isn't of Hindi tranny wailing. Anyone out there, y'know, all 6 of you, know of The Bobby Darling Show?

I'm Concerned By Where This Is Going

I already had a serious crush on Tim Gunn, but now, after appearing before him and hearing him giggle in person, it's Swoonsville, population one.

Classy

An NPR story that demonstrates exactly why I absolutely adore our elders. Just listen to the kindness she displays in caring for her brother and sister.

The Story of Clarice Morant

Olympic Crushes

Whilst everyotherlass swooned for the spunky redheaded snowboarder and everyredbloodedboy swooned for Tanith the ice dancer, I swooned for Joey Cheek and an Italian cross country skier.

Whilst on iTunes moments ago, I read Mr. Cheek's celeb playlist and he included Elliott Smith, Fiona Apple, Death Cab, and (gasp!) Andrew Bird. This and the donations to charity have only added to my swooning.

And yes. It's been over for weeks and I'm still hanging on to the Olympics. I am that one percent of the viewership that watched every night and feel let down by standard programming and pine for more biathlon and hours of Bob Costas. Sue me.

Schmoscar FASHION: Blair Edition

Is there going to be a new Anne Rice movie about a Spanish senorita's descent into the Vampiric underworld of award shows?

Is this a veiled statement alluding to the fact that Hollywood is a town filled with blood-suckers?

Selma's tribute to Sicilian women in mourning? To the silent film era?

I half expect a bull to leap through those hedges and someone with a red cape to swoop in and exanguinate it to impress her.

Schmoscar FASHION: Wifeclown Edition

Getty caption: "Talk show host Larry King and wife clown"

This inadvertant renaming of the trophy wife concept couldn't be more true.

Schmoscar FASHION: Celestia Edition

I can't believe the amount and quality of people invited to the Vanity Fair party. It's like a who's who and who isn't of Hollywood. Even Anne Heche in her loony fish scale, chain mail, twenties flapper with chiffon underlayer festival of fashion frights made it in. At this rate, I should receive my invite for '07 any day now.

But back to Mrs. Laffoon. She's down there in the Girlfight Edition too and it's stunning to me how much she got around those photographers. She's there! Entering! There she is in the background of another shot! There she is with Coley! Without Coley! Front view! Side view! Close-up on the tattoo view! And that brings us to my key point. I know that somewhere in that addled brain of hers she just knew she HAD to wear that dress because of the back reveal cut-out. I am positive that somewhere in there Celestia whispered, "Show them the butterfly and they will know peace." That can be the only reason for this ridiculous disaster of a dress and her absurd insistance on showing it off.

Schmoscar FASHION: Girlfight Edition

Kooky Girlfight sobered up long enough to do her hair and call the limo service and for that I'm proud of her. With all her recent liquor troubles, it's nice to see she stayed straight so she could use a curling iron and make her admittedly pretty hair all curly and fancy and done up right. Unfortunately, that sobriety couldn't get her through the dressing phase of the evening. She tipsily selected an adorable gown that would really look fabulous on someone much taller, like maybe Charlize Theron (after all, there's no bow). But on Girlfight, those black dots are like scrubbing bubbles and they've removed her waist like it was soap scum and somehow turned her top half into a tanner Bea Arthur torso. After donning the gown, she drunkenly pondered her accessory choices and went with the never popular old Christmas ribbon around the wrist look. Were it black, she might have looked like she was protesting something. Were it white, she might have garnered sympathy for a minor accident on the "Lost" set, but with silver it just looks like she really thought this might work.

Good thing she called the car service beforehand or we might've had a decent mugshot for The Smoking Gun to post.

Schmoscar FASHION!

Just one before I have to dash, darlings.

Overall, from what I've seen it wasn't a scary year. Sure, there's the Charlize bow, which we'll talk about later, but overall, not much wrong with the general Oscar population. But seriously, that ain't where the "oh wow I can't believe it" moments occur. Those happen later...at the parties.



If she had just gotten finished picking up the kids from soccer practice, dropping the dog off at the groomer's, running to the market for tonight's dinner, heading up a PTA meeting, and playing 3 sets of tennis at the gym, I might have understood why she totally forgot her husband's boring business dinner and just threw on a pair of jeans and a long swacket. But let's call a spade a spade. Kate Capshaw's got more money than all of us combined and then tripled. She has people that do all that stuff for her. Couldn't they have laid out a nice pair of pants before they climbed into their shared Ford Festiva and drove back to the barrio?

Until later, peaches.

OAA

Schmoscars

Robert Altman has turned into Colonel Sanders and the only thing that disappointed me about his speech was that he didn't reveal those eleven secret herbs and spices.

How did Michelle Williams get into the front row of the Oscars? Get back up about 20 aisles with the TV people you scammy little PR concoction.

Gyllenhaal, what, you couldn't shave?

Set Designers - Norma Desmond wants her bathroom back.

Ludacris, Jessica Alba, John Travolta - you'll never see those three names together again.

Keanu and Sandra next to each other? Are we in for a "Speed 3"!?! Fingers double crossed.

The Oscars were quite progressive. There were a lot of African Americans on stage. The sad part was that they had to do a "West Side Story"-esque dance number to a rap which must have been hard because there were a whole lot of "witches" jumpin' ship during that. The best part was whitey clappin' until they realized that "pimp" is now part of the Oscar canon.

Larry McMurtry, you're adorable in that "I don't really get out" way. But somewhere there's a bus boy at an Italian restaurant wishing you hadn't borrowed his tie. He got called in for the dinner shift.

Meta-awkward use of a movie line: Ang Lee telling Oscar "I wish I knew how to quit you." Now, everyone has to stop using it. (Thankfully.)

You say "Tuh-may-toe", Nicholson "Tuh-mah-toe"; you say "Cuh-poe-tee", Nicholson "Cuh-poe-tay"; Let's call the whole thing off.

Done before 10:30p and I only caught half of it. The only thing I'm mad I missed was more Stewart. And later, the FASHION!

Dobbs Tire Centers and the American Humane Society

In. Up. Fixed. Out.


(thanks, Drew.)

The Living End

I need a vacation.

Seriously.

A Win, An Observation, Some Tidbits, A Request

I have just won the award for Wanting Mexican Food More Than Even Those of the Mexican Persuasion (it's just "food" to them, you see). Here's the rub - no one wants to go with me. Either they're away, not answering, immune to my extreme begging, or broke. Most of these excuses are LAME and deserve your WRATH.

Since I'm not old enough yet to begin taking my meals at a solitary table and, as a back-up excuse, have no reading material to accompany my loser-eating-alone status, I've decided to get my prize "to go" by which I mean "to eat hastily in the car because I can't bear to wait any longer".

In other news, work continues to amaze me with its ability to confound the natural order of things. Take that as you may.

And now, some tidbits for you:
1. I'm illegally parked in the Bread Co. lot across the street. We're supposed to park down Grand in a lot by Jay's International Foods, but we never do that. One of the newbies on the 6th floor asked two of us if that's where we parked and we laughed the laugh of the wicked illegal parkers as our response.

2. I'm not a Leno fan. Don't really care for his smug head waggering. But last night he had Julie Scardina on (she of "Animal Wise" with Julie Scardina on "Jack Hanna's Animal Adventures" programs) and she brought out a sloth. With a baby. Frankly, that wins. Baby sloths are perhaps the best things since single-celled organisms began scooting around the earth. The baby came out on a rolled up fleece blanket, hanging on, and couldn't have been sweeter whilst trying to eat a piece of apple Leno had hastily shoved at her little mouth region. Oh cripes, she was cute. And then Julie brought out the lesser apes and I lost it entirely.

3. I refer to "blankets" as "bobbies" - "let's put the bobby back on the bed", "I need a warmer bobby", "these bobbies are on sale", etc. I had to go back and change that in the above point 2 because none of you would have known what I was talking about - "rolled up fleece bobby" would have confounded you as you tried to imagine a fuzzy British policeman curled up with a sloth. "Bobby" is just one of those words used during my childhood that I haven't grown out of.

And now, what I'd like in return:
I can't find my MP3 of a marching band playing the "Sanford & Son" theme song. Can you?