Slagerfeld

Some people know my loathing of Karl Lagerfeld. I am sure the man is perfectly charming. I'm sure he's just a dear heart. I am sure that underneath that tanned, sunglassed, daintily fanned, starved-to-perfection frame squishes the liver of an okay guy. But I really just don't think he's that great of a designer.

Understandably, he's got a hard job. Coco Chanel's house is probably the best known of the haute couture world and so he's always got those camillas and Jackie O suits to live up to, but he seems to just alienate me each showing he's got and there must be a reason. And that reason's the clothes.

Last time, I thought my browser loaded a dress wrong - it was this two-tiered skirt nightmare that made the model look like she was hiding another of herself beneath the one that showed. Scary stuff, that. This time, he's back with "hidden luxury" (because obvious luxury is so passe). I think he tried this out on us with the dress Nicole "Fivehead" Kidman wore to the Met Costume Institute Ball. It looked plain from the exterior, but a mere flick showed that the interior was lined with silver sequins (I guess designed to match Herr Laggy's silver motorcycle gloves). Pretty? Certainly. And now he's got a whole collection of it! Coats lined with the same material as your suit! Fluffy confections that secretly house the same fabric as your ball gown! Oooh! Delicious!

Yawn.

As the collection droned on, I think I started to miss the hidden luxury because looks like this came up.
(So as not to overweigh my blog, I selected this look because it gave me two views - one of the dress and one of Wintour and Paltrow who we'll get to later.) The previous dress - a long black number with a rainbow of spangles cutting a swath straight down the middle was really...something. Then, this dress. With two pointy cat ears to cover "zee teets", it's one of those evening numbers that just sparkle! Wear it to a Gay Pride parade and be the belle of the ball! You go, girl!

But, for all the fun I was having making fun, I found myself actually liking a couple.





Yeah. They're pretty. Yeah. I'd like to have 'em. But this doesn't mean my resolve against Klager is fading. No sir! This time I just have to admit that one of his design assistants has a volume of talent! Ha HA!

And now back to Paltrow and Wintour. (Which sounds like some vaudeville act.) Wearing sunglasses at a fashion show is like wearing sunglasses at a movie. What the hell's the point? Who are you trying to impress? Everyone there knows you're there and most of them think they're better than you anyway. Plus, the colors, the fabrics, the details! How can they be seen accurately behind a pair of shaded lenses? Gwynnie, I know we've had a meeting of the subconscious mind lately, but you keep up these antics and I might have to resume the hate. Wintour, just get over Karl already.