Jesus Juice

Upon hearing that Mel Gibson has reportedly checked into rehab, a certain someone wondered: "Where's your lord now, Mel?"

I guess he found the lord at the bottom of a bottle.

Considering the incredibly anti-Semitic statements old Mel felt compelled to make, Mr. Gibson can stay at the bottom of the bottle for all I care.

Lord Loves A Workin' Man

Work. You love that it pays the bills and that's about it. Seriously. If you had all the money in the world, you can be sure as shit you wouldn't be working a 9 to 5. (Or a 5 to 1 or a 7 to 3 or whatever the hell hours you work.) People always say, "Oh, even if I won, I'd just have to work in some capacity!" I call bullshit. Sure you'd work, but you wouldn't care about your work or you'd have some cushy, personal goal attaining job like working as a counter girl in some ritzy department store where you can finally afford everything or you'd volunteer to save whales or knit for a living or something. You wouldn't show up every day to the office/restaurant/school/freelance gig you work in now filled with zeal for creating PowerPoints or logos or whatever it is you create.

So, you work. And sometimes you work in cool places and sometimes you work in crap places, but there's always the constants - you will always have to stay after because someone decides to get their changes/order/homework in at the last minute; you will always have a person in the office that you have to work to be civil to; you will always have to nag people about cleaning up after themselves; you will never make enough money, get enough respect, or have enough vacation time; and you will always want a better/different job.

I have a job, which is good because I also have bills. I work in an "open" office which is supercool in theory. It's completely untenable when you have a conference call or any call for that matter. It's completely stupid when you need to just ignore someone as there's no wall/door/cube keeping you hidden. It's absolutely a mess if you have to have a meeting and the conference room is taken. And if there's one thing I hate it's that you're busy - up to your eyeballs busy - and co-workers will just walk right up and sit down and wait for you to pay attention to them. To add to it, all day long my point of view affords me the following excitements:

seeing everyone entering/exiting the bathroom
being the de facto receptionist because I work closest to the elevator
a constant greeting parade from everyone who walks past my desk (waves, words, sounds, etc.)

Fun, non?

I know I shouldn't complain, and I'm not, really. It's a fun place usually and there are definitely fun people. It's just that when am I going to win the lottery again?

A Word From Our Sponsor

Just a reminder that some of you are certainly more savvy with this "blogging". So, if I can't yet determine how to get text to layout correctly or if I happen to be away from my HTML cheat sheet and can't remember how to link, forgive me. I am but a lowly opinionated philistine in a world of techies.

The Motherload

Ye Interweb Gods have pleased me again.

They have unearthed the earthly delight that is Colin Quinn's "Going Back To Brooklyn" - not only the special, but also the music video pulled out so I can watch it ovah and ovah and ovah again.

The Video Only

The Motherload

How I've longed for this moment.

AD3

You can now order your third (and final) season of "Arrested Development" at Amazon, darlings. Go order yours or Mr.F might come after you.

(Speaking of Mr.F, there's a thin line between me and Charlize's character. And that thin line is that she can play the banjo.)

Emmys Schmemmys

Uh, does no one watch "Deadwood"? Are you freakin' fuckin' kidding me? Was it exempt because it's set in a time before the Emmys existed? Someone explain how "Ghost Whisperer" got an Emmy nom and "Deadwood" didn't. Please.

(Although, the "GW" nod was probably for "Best Ridiculous Costuming". On a completely different note, has anyone else noticed that Love Hewitt's acting response for "That smells bad", "I can't believe that!", "Well, that was weird", "Ghosts say the darndesd things", and "He did WHAT!?!" are all the same. It's a twitchy, draw the head back, wrinkle nose thing. It either ends in a smirky smile or a Charlie Brown frown.)

And seriously, is the incredibly grating I-can't-even-watch-it-and-I'm-their-target "Grey's Anatomy" really nominated for awards? The two leads of "Law & Order: SVU"? Do they know that I watch that show and laugh out loud because it's so fawningly melodramatic?

If it's taking this turn, then where are the noms for The Great (David) Caruso?

Notes On The Box

I love "CSI: Miami". Oh, that Horatio Caruso. David Caine. Either way, they're magic. MAGIC! I tells ya. It's so absurd and overwrought! I can't love it any more! I encourage all 6 of you to watch it and be amazed by the pauses and the sunglasses applications and the growling, one-note responses. It is truly a thing of beauty.

"It" is a key component to both the eBay campaign and the Gatorade campaign. eBay wants you to find "it" in its astounding array of offerings and the Gators want you to check and see if "it" is in you. I hope they both know they aren't "it". "CSI: Miami" is "it".

I am cookoo for "The Venture Bros." cocoa puffs. It is the bee's retro knees. But the cartoon acting's not nearly as remarkable as "CSI: Miami"'s.

If I see one more lame local dealer car commercial, they're going to have to get that M.E. that used to be on "NewsRadio" and is now on "CSI: Miami" who was once held hostage by the guy who killed the dude who had a security system on his bedroom and a secret molesty room to which he lured wee lads a la Michael Jackson to help identify the car dealer's body. It won't matter which one, just so long as one of them leaves my bedtime reruns alone.

Uh, and a bunch of other stuff that doesn't really tie to "CSI: Miami" but that I will somehow, weakly, pull together.

Our Card

"I had a dream
A dream for guess who, Lydia
It wasn't for her, Lydia
It's only for you, yes, Lydia
Some people can get their kicks watching Koppel and late-night flicks
That's okay for some people who don't own VCRs
But Lydia, you've won the grand prize
Just think of it
All the movies you'll watch for free now
Dramas, westerns, comedies, wow
Video Spot has the best selection
If you like porno we're your connection
And everything's coming up videos
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