This is my new big money making idea and since I trust all 6 of you so implicitly, I'm going to share it.
FOODLAND
(yes, I know there might be a problem with this name, but it's in its conception phase so gimme a break)
The Pitch:
With obesity sweeping the nation, what better way to celebrate our obsession with cramming things down our gullets than a theme park dedicated to sweet sustenance!?!
The Rides:
Ferris Wheel of Brie
Salt & Pepper Shakers (too easy)
The Noodler
Bumper Carbs (instead of cars, it's little loaves of bread!)
The Salad Spinner (think swings, but in the shape of lettuce, sliced tomatoes, and other salad fixin's!)
Fad Diet Roller Coaster
The Games:
Onion Ring Toss - hook an onion ring on a ketchup bottle and win a prize!
Pie Toss - pie the face of a clown and win a prize!
Bottle Toss - knock the milk bottles over with a stuffed cupcake and win a prize!
The Dunkin' Booth - sponsored by Dunkin' Donuts (guy in doughnut suit falls into a giant cup of coffee)
Martini! - roll giant olives into martini glasses and win a prize!
Wack-A-Souffle - make those souffles fall and win a prize!
Friday, July 27, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
BFD
More to come on the baseball outing last night, but for now, here's a wee anecdote:
(sound of crowd clapping)
JENNIFER (to JULIE): Are we supposed to be clapping?
JULIE (clapping with crowd): Well, the pitcher is leaving the mound so we're clapping because he pitched well.
JENNIFER: BFD! That's his job!
AMY: Yeah! No one claps when I leave work!
Official Judge's Ruling: No clapping for pitchers that leave the mound. They're just doing their damn jobs and make way more than I do.
(sound of crowd clapping)
JENNIFER (to JULIE): Are we supposed to be clapping?
JULIE (clapping with crowd): Well, the pitcher is leaving the mound so we're clapping because he pitched well.
JENNIFER: BFD! That's his job!
AMY: Yeah! No one claps when I leave work!
Official Judge's Ruling: No clapping for pitchers that leave the mound. They're just doing their damn jobs and make way more than I do.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
"I Won't Be Here Next Weekend"
Henry says. "I've got stale bacon training."
(He really said Steadicam training, but I think training stale bacon sounds far more fun. Although, can bacon go stale?)
Troof.
From Jon's Dog Blog:
I don't care who you think you are or where you think you came from, everybody at some point in their life has wanted a dog. And I'm pretty sure I know the real reason. The real reason is: Everybody at some point in their life has wanted to have a stuffed animal come to life and be their pal. Tell me I'm wrong and I will laugh and laugh and laugh.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
R.I.P. Absurd Hope
I will always love Steve Martin. And Henry, you'll just have to accept that.
Although my pre-teen adolesence was filled with dreams of rainbows and ice cream and horses and Wil Wheaton, my first real full-on make-out dream involved me and Steve Martin and a bookstore. Swoon. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I've always imagined that like SAnDeE*, Steve would just happen into my place of business and we'd hit it off and he'd ask me to L'Idiot, but in my fantasy, we'd be listening to Enya in the end. So, when I heard this, I guess I was a little wistfully heartbroken. Steve's gone and proposed to another girl.
Although my pre-teen adolesence was filled with dreams of rainbows and ice cream and horses and Wil Wheaton, my first real full-on make-out dream involved me and Steve Martin and a bookstore. Swoon. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I've always imagined that like SAnDeE*, Steve would just happen into my place of business and we'd hit it off and he'd ask me to L'Idiot, but in my fantasy, we'd be listening to Enya in the end. So, when I heard this, I guess I was a little wistfully heartbroken. Steve's gone and proposed to another girl.
100 Lies I've Never Told
A few years ago there was a thing called Delphi Forums that was all the rage with a certain set of my friends, both in person friends and friends I've only known online. We chatted about everything - movies, books, food - and there were a few great things that came out of those forums like "Simple Pleasures Hurley" and some other literary gems contributed by dozens of hilarious people that live all over the world. It was a simple system - one person would come up with a thread and all the forum members would contribute if they had something to say about that thread. And honestly, I checked those forums probably 10 times a day, reading all sorts of thoughts from all sorts of people.
One of those threads was "100 Lies I've Never Told". The idea was to write 100 lies you've never told about yourself and the more outlandish the better. Now some people on these forums were damn funny and I tried my best to keep up with them. Actually, they were brilliantly funny, wickedly witty, and incredibly insane (but in a good way). I posted my 100 and recently found a copy of them. So, now I'll share them with the 6 of you. I hope you enjoy them and Delphiers? Consider this a big shout out to all of you.
100 Lies I've Never Told
1. It used to be "Animal, Vegetable, or Amy". I made them change it because I felt self-conscious.
2. I was originally cast as KITT in "Knight Rider".
3. I'm raising Sea Monkeys in my spinal fluid.
4. The Pope and I get into heated games of Connect Four twice a month.
5. Once, after being angered beyond all limits, I shrunk the majestic broccoli tree into the vegetable we know today so that it might be eternally punished for its earlier wrong doings.
6. I was married to Barry Manilow for three glorious weeks. I called him "Banilow".
7. I fought in nine matches for the WWF as "The Butter Churn".
8. I've been immortalized as a bobblehead.
9. Onions don't make me cry.
10. "JAWS" is based on my life story.
11. My middle name is "Bitchslap".
12. "Oligarchy " is tattooed on the back of my neck.
13. I keep thousands of wolverines as pets.
14. Sometimes, while watching television, I can astral project into Ed Asner.
15. I am the Tooth Fairy.
16. I invented a teleportation device, but it was destroyed by the creators of "Dr. Who".
17. My liver is iron clad.
18. I am impervious to hair pulling.
19. My first job was Executive Assistant to LBJ where I was in charge of the shoe polishing machine.
20. I have smoked shitloads of crack.
21. And lived to tell about it.
22. Eight of the songs of Nick Cave were inspired by my relationship with a fruit bat.
23. I've licked three heads of state.
24. I can unbend pretzels with my mind.
25. It was my idea to almost entirely change the cast on "The Facts of Life".
26. However, I didn't have anything to do with the casting of Geri.
27. I make the patterns for snowflakes.
28. I was the inspiration for Donkey Kong.
29. Scathing articles about my sexual conquests regularly appear in European magazines.
30. I julienne fries.
31. I faked my death in 1984.
32. I invented the art of plate spinning.
33. I told Mr. T to get the mohawk.
34. I dream only of Abraham Lincoln sitting at the top of a short totem pole quietly repeating the lyrics of "Muskrat Love". All other dreams have been concocted to entertain.
35. My feet are way bigger than you think.
36. I am barred from traveling through Indiana thanks to comments made regarding their Daylight Savings Time policy.
37. I use eggplants to transport illicit drugs through the mail.
38. If I sit entirely still, I can pick up Danish radio stations with my eyelashes.
39. My father is Don Knotts.
40. My mom is really Omar Sharif in disguise. My REAL mom is Sandy Duncan.
41. I can hover three inches above any solid surface made entirely of aluminum.
42. I was Zamfir's mentor for four years.
43. Hole puncher? My idea.
44. I had a torrid affair with Cobi, the mascot of the 1992 Barcelona Summer Olympics.
45. I am Danielle Steele.
46. Before that I was the Gorton's Fisherman.
47. Before that I was Sherman Williams, but got sick of all the damn questions.
48. I cry wolf.
49. I hold the highest score ever recorded in Wack-A-Mole.
50. My skull was removed and replaced with layer upon layer of dried Elmer's Glue.
51. I used to work at the UN where I simultaneously translated in hula.
52. My Honda was made entirely of chewed Teaberry gum.
53. All the gum was chewed by Greg Norman and Robert Goulet.
54. On Palm Sunday, I can count cards legally.
55. I am covered in a thick, clear fur that can be seen under black light.
56. I sang the "hmmmmm" at the end of the closing theme song of "Diff'rent Strokes".
57. I was the first person to whimsically refer to Target as "Tar-zhay".
58. I keep angels in my left hand kitchen cabinet next to the Long John Silver's collectible glasses.
59. Fidel Castro and I have a long-running correspondence regarding one thing: the physics of the Thermos.
60. He writes his letters to me on vermicelli noodles.
61. I write his letters on grape seeds.
62. Each night before you fall asleep, I whisper the secrets of the Mayans in your ear.
63. I warned Eric Stoltz.
64. I was Jesse Ventura's Campaign Manager.
65. My first love is sumo wrestling.
66. Right before he went on stage I asked Kennedy, "Yeah, but what can my country do for me?"
67. I killed Erma Bombeck.
68. That is not a lie.
69. I've swum with moose.
70. I've also swum with Meese.
71. I protested until they started calling it Kraft CHEESE and Macaroni.
72. The sky is blue because I said so once.
73. My brother keeps Motley Crüe as his house pets.
74. They wet the floor if left alone for too long.
75. My only source of income is making wreaths for cow necks for Pongal.
76. I've been inside the Popemobile.
77. I can list all 50 states in descending order of Tang consumption.
78. I bought the Leaning Tower of Pisa with tulip bulbs in 1636, just before the tulip market crashed.
79. Cherry Coke comes out of all my faucets when the cold water is turned on.
80. I know where the beef is.
81. I'll tell you if you ask really nicely.
82. I came up with the concept of live bait vending machines.
83. I sleep on a mattress made entirely of devil's food cake.
84. "Keep on truckin'" was the first thing I said as a baby.
85. I named Djibouti, but they fucked up the spelling.
86. Carl Kasell lives in a tiny treasure chest at the foot of my bed.
87. I gave Janis Joplin her first bottle of SoCo.
88. This? Oh, that's nothing.
89. I know every duck joke ever told.
90. I am the girl in that McCurry photograph.
91. My heart is made of saffron.
92. I told Dali to make the Lobster Telephone.
93. Every line I've ever written has made someone, somewhere cry.
94. My real name is Annabel Lee.
95. I have a sixth sense - a sense of urgency.
96. Dale Chihuly gave me his eye a la Van Gogh.
97. I wear it in my hair.
98. I put the kaibosh on parachute pants.
99. I am going to rename all the planets after the Teletubbies next week.
100. I can escape it.
One of those threads was "100 Lies I've Never Told". The idea was to write 100 lies you've never told about yourself and the more outlandish the better. Now some people on these forums were damn funny and I tried my best to keep up with them. Actually, they were brilliantly funny, wickedly witty, and incredibly insane (but in a good way). I posted my 100 and recently found a copy of them. So, now I'll share them with the 6 of you. I hope you enjoy them and Delphiers? Consider this a big shout out to all of you.
100 Lies I've Never Told
1. It used to be "Animal, Vegetable, or Amy". I made them change it because I felt self-conscious.
2. I was originally cast as KITT in "Knight Rider".
3. I'm raising Sea Monkeys in my spinal fluid.
4. The Pope and I get into heated games of Connect Four twice a month.
5. Once, after being angered beyond all limits, I shrunk the majestic broccoli tree into the vegetable we know today so that it might be eternally punished for its earlier wrong doings.
6. I was married to Barry Manilow for three glorious weeks. I called him "Banilow".
7. I fought in nine matches for the WWF as "The Butter Churn".
8. I've been immortalized as a bobblehead.
9. Onions don't make me cry.
10. "JAWS" is based on my life story.
11. My middle name is "Bitchslap".
12. "Oligarchy " is tattooed on the back of my neck.
13. I keep thousands of wolverines as pets.
14. Sometimes, while watching television, I can astral project into Ed Asner.
15. I am the Tooth Fairy.
16. I invented a teleportation device, but it was destroyed by the creators of "Dr. Who".
17. My liver is iron clad.
18. I am impervious to hair pulling.
19. My first job was Executive Assistant to LBJ where I was in charge of the shoe polishing machine.
20. I have smoked shitloads of crack.
21. And lived to tell about it.
22. Eight of the songs of Nick Cave were inspired by my relationship with a fruit bat.
23. I've licked three heads of state.
24. I can unbend pretzels with my mind.
25. It was my idea to almost entirely change the cast on "The Facts of Life".
26. However, I didn't have anything to do with the casting of Geri.
27. I make the patterns for snowflakes.
28. I was the inspiration for Donkey Kong.
29. Scathing articles about my sexual conquests regularly appear in European magazines.
30. I julienne fries.
31. I faked my death in 1984.
32. I invented the art of plate spinning.
33. I told Mr. T to get the mohawk.
34. I dream only of Abraham Lincoln sitting at the top of a short totem pole quietly repeating the lyrics of "Muskrat Love". All other dreams have been concocted to entertain.
35. My feet are way bigger than you think.
36. I am barred from traveling through Indiana thanks to comments made regarding their Daylight Savings Time policy.
37. I use eggplants to transport illicit drugs through the mail.
38. If I sit entirely still, I can pick up Danish radio stations with my eyelashes.
39. My father is Don Knotts.
40. My mom is really Omar Sharif in disguise. My REAL mom is Sandy Duncan.
41. I can hover three inches above any solid surface made entirely of aluminum.
42. I was Zamfir's mentor for four years.
43. Hole puncher? My idea.
44. I had a torrid affair with Cobi, the mascot of the 1992 Barcelona Summer Olympics.
45. I am Danielle Steele.
46. Before that I was the Gorton's Fisherman.
47. Before that I was Sherman Williams, but got sick of all the damn questions.
48. I cry wolf.
49. I hold the highest score ever recorded in Wack-A-Mole.
50. My skull was removed and replaced with layer upon layer of dried Elmer's Glue.
51. I used to work at the UN where I simultaneously translated in hula.
52. My Honda was made entirely of chewed Teaberry gum.
53. All the gum was chewed by Greg Norman and Robert Goulet.
54. On Palm Sunday, I can count cards legally.
55. I am covered in a thick, clear fur that can be seen under black light.
56. I sang the "hmmmmm" at the end of the closing theme song of "Diff'rent Strokes".
57. I was the first person to whimsically refer to Target as "Tar-zhay".
58. I keep angels in my left hand kitchen cabinet next to the Long John Silver's collectible glasses.
59. Fidel Castro and I have a long-running correspondence regarding one thing: the physics of the Thermos.
60. He writes his letters to me on vermicelli noodles.
61. I write his letters on grape seeds.
62. Each night before you fall asleep, I whisper the secrets of the Mayans in your ear.
63. I warned Eric Stoltz.
64. I was Jesse Ventura's Campaign Manager.
65. My first love is sumo wrestling.
66. Right before he went on stage I asked Kennedy, "Yeah, but what can my country do for me?"
67. I killed Erma Bombeck.
68. That is not a lie.
69. I've swum with moose.
70. I've also swum with Meese.
71. I protested until they started calling it Kraft CHEESE and Macaroni.
72. The sky is blue because I said so once.
73. My brother keeps Motley Crüe as his house pets.
74. They wet the floor if left alone for too long.
75. My only source of income is making wreaths for cow necks for Pongal.
76. I've been inside the Popemobile.
77. I can list all 50 states in descending order of Tang consumption.
78. I bought the Leaning Tower of Pisa with tulip bulbs in 1636, just before the tulip market crashed.
79. Cherry Coke comes out of all my faucets when the cold water is turned on.
80. I know where the beef is.
81. I'll tell you if you ask really nicely.
82. I came up with the concept of live bait vending machines.
83. I sleep on a mattress made entirely of devil's food cake.
84. "Keep on truckin'" was the first thing I said as a baby.
85. I named Djibouti, but they fucked up the spelling.
86. Carl Kasell lives in a tiny treasure chest at the foot of my bed.
87. I gave Janis Joplin her first bottle of SoCo.
88. This? Oh, that's nothing.
89. I know every duck joke ever told.
90. I am the girl in that McCurry photograph.
91. My heart is made of saffron.
92. I told Dali to make the Lobster Telephone.
93. Every line I've ever written has made someone, somewhere cry.
94. My real name is Annabel Lee.
95. I have a sixth sense - a sense of urgency.
96. Dale Chihuly gave me his eye a la Van Gogh.
97. I wear it in my hair.
98. I put the kaibosh on parachute pants.
99. I am going to rename all the planets after the Teletubbies next week.
100. I can escape it.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
...And Boy Is My Tongue Tired
I had my first French lesson last night with my new tutor. It's been 14 years since I took my last French class and I was surprised that I remembered quite a bit, but can't recall simple things like the word for "dress" or numbers (I had to count on my fingers and repeat the numbers aloud until I got to the one I wanted). Now certainly the native Frenchwoman teaching me is really in command of the language, but I was rather surprised that she could carry on en francais and I was pretty much understanding what she said with a few "pardons?" tossed in there every now and again. So, although most of my answers are still in English, I'm looking forward to being able to read French Vogue.
And that reminds me...this is the perfect excuse to Carine Roitfeld's monthly fashion bible at Borders now.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Keeping You In The Know
For those of you that might have missed "Victoria Beckham: Coming To America" last night on NBC, never fear! I watched the entire thing for you and will now present all the best lines uttered by Mrs. Beckham!
• After meeting stereotypical LA women - plastic to the hilt, over the hill, money-centric, crazy bitches - for a luncheon, and hearing one of them do their dolphin impersonation (truly frightening, that) Victoria states: "There's only one way to go here...let's get drunk."
• Quite tongue-in-cheek, she sighs and utters, "It's exhausting being fabulous."
• Upon entering a very tacky house: "It looked like someone with no taste came in and vomited everywhere."
• At a viewing of Lionel Richie's former home currently on the market, our Vic comments on the floors. The realtor tells her they were laid by Lionel himself to which she slyly responds: "Lionel Richie laid the parquet floor.....whilst dancing on the ceiling."
• On Thanksgiving: "They take loads of pretzels, mash 'em up, and shove 'em up turkeys' bums."
• Her assistant informs her that she taking her somewhere to learn how to throw a pitch at a baseball game after Vicky's invited to throw out the first pitch at a Dodgers' game. She follows that up with, "You should probably wear sporty heels."
Want more? (And I know you do.) Then head to NBC.com and watch, you cheeky bastards.
• After meeting stereotypical LA women - plastic to the hilt, over the hill, money-centric, crazy bitches - for a luncheon, and hearing one of them do their dolphin impersonation (truly frightening, that) Victoria states: "There's only one way to go here...let's get drunk."
• Quite tongue-in-cheek, she sighs and utters, "It's exhausting being fabulous."
• Upon entering a very tacky house: "It looked like someone with no taste came in and vomited everywhere."
• At a viewing of Lionel Richie's former home currently on the market, our Vic comments on the floors. The realtor tells her they were laid by Lionel himself to which she slyly responds: "Lionel Richie laid the parquet floor.....whilst dancing on the ceiling."
• On Thanksgiving: "They take loads of pretzels, mash 'em up, and shove 'em up turkeys' bums."
• Her assistant informs her that she taking her somewhere to learn how to throw a pitch at a baseball game after Vicky's invited to throw out the first pitch at a Dodgers' game. She follows that up with, "You should probably wear sporty heels."
Want more? (And I know you do.) Then head to NBC.com and watch, you cheeky bastards.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Fashion Round-up: Ye Olde Tidbits
I know some of you aren't up on the couture scene and that at times my endless rants about Galliano's pencil thin moustache and McQueen's utter genius can be rather dullsville. And so, I give you the best of both worlds - high fashion and cartoons! (See more at Fashionista.com!)
• The title of this article makes me giggle like a wee child.
• I know this dress could only be worn to my goth boyfriend's untimely funeral (aren't they always), but I still want it. And it's on sale. And yes, it's McQueen. (Am I that transparent?)
• Hey Leigh Lezark! The Giles dress you wore for Vogue's on sale too! (I can't find a scan of you in it, but I know you were.)
• And because I wanted to do a whole post about couture, but just couldn't really get into it beyond the Dior, here's the newest look in fashion - the ass fox. You'd think that I might be referring to a 45-year-old oiled down playboy from Milan who prefers the booty to the boobies, but I'm not. Plus, would that guy really be a fox anyway? Regardless...
Imagine turning around and seeing that thing behind you all the time.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
You Come At The King, You Best Not Miss
I don't care whatch'all think. Omar totally steals that show.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
I'd Like To Ace His Deuce, If You Catch My Meaning
I'm not what you'd call a "sports fan". Certainly I'm KO'd by Olympic fever every couple of years, but to me, that's quite different from the usual weekly fare. First off, I get to brush up on my flags of many nations identification skills and secondly, I get to realize my affinity for things not normally covered like the biathlon the bobsled and thirdly, there's about 1,000 other reasons I love the Olympics, but this is not a post about the Games. Those will come in 2008.
So, yeah, sports. I have never found myself interested in those that end in "ball" - basket, base, foot. They've never been my cup of tea as they seem too repetitive, too slow, too homoerotic. Sure, I had that dalliance with college basketball during the Duke domination years, but let's face it, that's solely because Christian Laettner was such a dreamboat and because I so desperately wanted to go to Duke at the time. Since then, I've occasionally been forced to feign interest in them due to boyfriends or parties or because I'm actually at a game. I think I could like hockey because it's always cool in the arena, but the only parts that interest me are when the teams change lines or they get into a brawl. Other than that, it's too hard for me to see the puck and my attention drifts to people watching.
But there is one sport I've always enjoyed, one I've tried on many occasions to learn, and that sport is tennis. Yes, I do have a crush on Roger Federer, but that's because he's so sublime. He embodies what tennis should mean - manners, good looking in white clothes, grace under pressure. That's tennis. Now, his occasional nemesis, Rafael Nadal is a good player, but he's too aggressive and certainly too much of an ass-picker for my liking (seriously, he tugs at his crack more times per match than he lands aces). Plus, Roger is the portrait of stoic swatting as he never ooogahs like the rest of the players - honestly, do they have to grunt everytime they put racquet to ball? So, why have I never taken up the second favorite sport of Palm Beach? Well, it all started back in the day when my Cranial Gravitational Pull was in full effect.
You see, I have an ailment. One so insidious that all sports took a dark cast - every pop-fly was cause for concern; every lay-up another moment to dodge out of the way; and speaking of "dodge", let's not even begin to discuss the torment wrought in that arena. Cranial Gravitational Pull (CGP) is a disorder in which a cranium, in this case, mine, is gravitationally stronger than the area around it causing all round, airborne objects to be pulled in its direction. Hit in the head with a basketball? Check. Volleyball? Definitely. Softball? You know it. Tennis ball? Got a black eye. So, as a youth, all the rites of passage involving team spirit were lost on me because I was usually way the hell out in left field or warming the bench while those without CGP were off enjoying base hits and whatnot. Now certainly the CGP wasn't the only thing standing in my way. I failed spectacularly at gymnastics (springboarded straight into the vault and still can't do a back walk-over) and there aren't any balls there (no snickering). And, to be truthful, I think I rather enjoyed my ailment's benefits - a nice, stress-free afternoon sitting out in the grass or sitting over on the bench. As I got older, those stress-free afternoons involved sitting next to the cooler of beer so really, is it all that terrible?
Well, when it comes to the tennis court, yes, it is. I desperately want a cute little tennis outfit, my own little racquet bag, maybe even a visor. And all fashion aside, I especially want to lob and volley and backhand and ace like Roger. (Maybe even with Roger, but as I told Henry, it's probably better if I don't learn and can use my "I wouldn't recognize a sports figure if they told me point-blank they pitch for the Cardinals" routine [which isn't so much a routine as general ignorance].) I want to trot out to a close-clipped grass court and swat little white tennis balls like Lucy Honeychurch. And I'm trying. I've gotten myself a really ripping badminton set for the lawn and have at least been able to play moderately well, when I can find an opponent. I've also noticed that at the last baseball game I attended there weren't any line drives headed straight for my sightline. Perhaps, like some allergies, CGP dimishes over the years and I just might end up at 40-love someday. Just don't expect me to be standing in centerfield for your summer league. I'm far too happy over by the beer cooler.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
60 Years of Christian Dior
Well, I think we know by now that I'm not the biggest Galliano fan, which is to say, I do not doubt his ability to create, I just don't always enjoy his vision. Yesterday was the show celebrating the 60th anniversary of the House of Christian Dior and while I see the vision - the harlequin, the sweepingly dramatic dresses, the wasp waisted suit - I just wish he wouldn't turn his models into drag queens.
Seriously. He turned gloriously beautiful Kim Noorda into Lady Bunny with two swooshy eyebrows and a shit-ton of blue shadow. But she wasn't the only one that ended up looking wretched. Linda Evangelista and Naomi Campbell were looking a little worse for wear on the runway and poor Angela Lindvall ended up cast as a fur-trimmed Miss Ellie from "Dallas".
But, all that being said, there were sublime moments like the dress Lily Bart might have worn popping up on Vlada.
And a stunning ensemble that would have been perfect on Lisa Fonssagrives.
The colors were simply astounding. Petal pinks, icy blues, blood reds, café mocha shades that slid into cinnamons, minty greens and lavenders! It was a cavalcade of shades that were absolutely pitch perfect and rendered in not only gloriously crafted gowns, but also in the hair ornaments and jewelry that made me long to be regal or bound for a ball sometime in the future.
And just as I was beginning to think I might be able to get past the model gawking and just focus on the fashion and that I might actually start to like Galliano, it came crashing down when he came out to take his bow.
So, sufficient to say, I'd love to raid his atelier and jewelry box, but I'll be steering quite clear of his makeup table and his personal closet.
Seriously. He turned gloriously beautiful Kim Noorda into Lady Bunny with two swooshy eyebrows and a shit-ton of blue shadow. But she wasn't the only one that ended up looking wretched. Linda Evangelista and Naomi Campbell were looking a little worse for wear on the runway and poor Angela Lindvall ended up cast as a fur-trimmed Miss Ellie from "Dallas".
But, all that being said, there were sublime moments like the dress Lily Bart might have worn popping up on Vlada.
And a stunning ensemble that would have been perfect on Lisa Fonssagrives.
The colors were simply astounding. Petal pinks, icy blues, blood reds, café mocha shades that slid into cinnamons, minty greens and lavenders! It was a cavalcade of shades that were absolutely pitch perfect and rendered in not only gloriously crafted gowns, but also in the hair ornaments and jewelry that made me long to be regal or bound for a ball sometime in the future.
And just as I was beginning to think I might be able to get past the model gawking and just focus on the fashion and that I might actually start to like Galliano, it came crashing down when he came out to take his bow.
So, sufficient to say, I'd love to raid his atelier and jewelry box, but I'll be steering quite clear of his makeup table and his personal closet.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Ping-A-Ling
I just installed a sitemeter on this here deal because, well, I really don't know why but it seemed like everyone else had one so why not? Plus, uh, it's free.
The thing is, I'm a luddite when it comes to this crap and haven't a clue who/what/where/when/why/how people come to my blog save the people that know me (Hey you 6!). Apparently, this here sitemeter can tell you how these people got here beyond thinking, "That OAA, she's really somekindasomethin'. Let's see what she's up to, shall we?" So, how did they get here? Well, they searched for these things:
jami getz (alias for "The Lost Boys" star, obvs.)
gothic arsehole ("A.D." fan or misguided S&M devotee?)
chanice booty (I got nothin'.)
drink your juice shelby (!!!Please tell me you use this as often as I do, person in Georgia!!!)
spanish translation (stunning since the only thing I can do in Spanish is order at Taco Bell and ask for more shoes.)
Also, people are still getting to the OAA via my brother's blog despite the fact that it's been dormant lo these 8 months. So, with all this mania in mind, I'm going to add in some strange word combos that just might get me to come up in strange word combo searches here:
rickets in space
lime carriage
muffintop madness!
transgenerational directives
poodle scroodle
bubble and squeak (real thing, still a strange combo)
scoot hooters
boss of the bedclothes
Margaritaville City Councilman
So, let's see if those get me any pings!
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