No. Me. Not money-grubbing Lena Olin.
I'm in Opryland. Literally. Working. To rent a handrailless step unit for a ballroom is $1700. Uh...yee-NO.
Tired, filled with Emer'gen-C and sweet tea, and ready for speaker rehearsals.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
J. Stephen Continues His March To City Hall
San Diego CityBEAT
And now, an actual paper has covered his strides. And to think, I knew him when he was merely entertained by shaving cream.
Run, Country Fly! Run!
And now, an actual paper has covered his strides. And to think, I knew him when he was merely entertained by shaving cream.
Run, Country Fly! Run!
I Wish I Didn't Want My MTV
I really don't want Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey to break up. I know, I know, I shouldn't care, but I actually love watching MTV's ridiculous "reality" programming and without the "Newlyweds", I feel bereft. Knowing that they're on the rocks makes me recall all the good times I spent with my fictional friends - and weep for their future.
"Meet The Barkers" is an okay replacement - that Bunny of a wife he's got is endearing - but Travis' inability to wear pants properly really bugs me. And it also bugs me that they have an elevator in a two-story house filled with able-bodied people, but to each their own.
As far as "The Inferno II" is concerned, them's some bitches on that show. I used to think Rachel was off her nut when she threw Beth's clothes in the pool, but with the triumverate of evil estrogen she's up against, I'm feeling the sympathy. And could Jamie possibly be any cuter? On the guy's side, CT really needs to get the hell over himself. Really.
"Meet The Barkers" is an okay replacement - that Bunny of a wife he's got is endearing - but Travis' inability to wear pants properly really bugs me. And it also bugs me that they have an elevator in a two-story house filled with able-bodied people, but to each their own.
As far as "The Inferno II" is concerned, them's some bitches on that show. I used to think Rachel was off her nut when she threw Beth's clothes in the pool, but with the triumverate of evil estrogen she's up against, I'm feeling the sympathy. And could Jamie possibly be any cuter? On the guy's side, CT really needs to get the hell over himself. Really.
One-Armed Paper Hanger
What the hell does that mean anyway? If you had one arm, I'm all for you overcoming and whatnot, but this just seems like an invitation to annoyance. Hanging wallpaper? This is a two arm job, man. At least. I've watched my 5'2" mother do it and I should think it's also at least a 5'10", two armed person who has an assistant's job.
Regardless, that's what I am these days. Work, house, rehearsal. Lather, rinse, repeat. As a result, my current state of posting will diminish beyond it's current sporadic nonsense sharing. But, you never know. I'm posting now, aren't I?
Before I go, here's some things I've seen and noted over the last few days:
1. There's a man in my office's neighborhood that drives somewhere every morning in his OLD white BMW with his boxer sitting in the front seat next to him. Each time I've seen them toolin' about, both are intently focused on the road ahead.
2. Someone two nights ago decided that it would be appropriate to rev up the circular saw at 11pm. To everyone: this is not an appropriate time no matter what you have to saw and regardless of the urgency of said sawing.
3. Steel drum music is hard to find. That's probably for the best.
4. I saw the old gondolier woman again. She walks around the Central West End with her walking stick and sorta pushes off the pavement with each step. As a result, her languid ambulation looks like she's floating about in a gondola. I keep hoping one day she'll wear a striped shirt.
5. I'm eating breakfast these days.
Regardless, that's what I am these days. Work, house, rehearsal. Lather, rinse, repeat. As a result, my current state of posting will diminish beyond it's current sporadic nonsense sharing. But, you never know. I'm posting now, aren't I?
Before I go, here's some things I've seen and noted over the last few days:
1. There's a man in my office's neighborhood that drives somewhere every morning in his OLD white BMW with his boxer sitting in the front seat next to him. Each time I've seen them toolin' about, both are intently focused on the road ahead.
2. Someone two nights ago decided that it would be appropriate to rev up the circular saw at 11pm. To everyone: this is not an appropriate time no matter what you have to saw and regardless of the urgency of said sawing.
3. Steel drum music is hard to find. That's probably for the best.
4. I saw the old gondolier woman again. She walks around the Central West End with her walking stick and sorta pushes off the pavement with each step. As a result, her languid ambulation looks like she's floating about in a gondola. I keep hoping one day she'll wear a striped shirt.
5. I'm eating breakfast these days.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Opiate of the Masses
"Identity"
"Lord Love A Duck"
"Deadwood"
"Final Destination 2"
"Inside Survivor"
"The Simpsons"
One of the "Mad Max" movies
"Intervention"
"The Graduate"
"The Quick and the Dead"
This is just a sampling of the things I watched yesterday. Now, I didn't watch them entirely - after all, I had to take time out to grocery shop and run into Drew at the Walgreen's - but I watched 'em. And is it any wonder that with all that television gaping, I couldn't go to sleep last night? (Correct answer: no.)
Speaking of Walgreen's, why is it that it's a brand new building and lot, but the interior looks just like the old one - and honey, that ain't somethin' you want to hold on to. (People are not inspired by the interior design of Walgreen's, to be sure.) But for all of its ugliness, it did afford me the opportunity to try Lime Coke. "Better than regular" was the concensus.
"Lord Love A Duck"
"Deadwood"
"Final Destination 2"
"Inside Survivor"
"The Simpsons"
One of the "Mad Max" movies
"Intervention"
"The Graduate"
"The Quick and the Dead"
This is just a sampling of the things I watched yesterday. Now, I didn't watch them entirely - after all, I had to take time out to grocery shop and run into Drew at the Walgreen's - but I watched 'em. And is it any wonder that with all that television gaping, I couldn't go to sleep last night? (Correct answer: no.)
Speaking of Walgreen's, why is it that it's a brand new building and lot, but the interior looks just like the old one - and honey, that ain't somethin' you want to hold on to. (People are not inspired by the interior design of Walgreen's, to be sure.) But for all of its ugliness, it did afford me the opportunity to try Lime Coke. "Better than regular" was the concensus.
Friday, May 13, 2005
The Masses
I'm pleased to know, as Joel said, that I've made it to 2003 by starting this behind-the-curve blog. I may be behind the times, but I'm ahead on...uh...hmmm...the uh...the all sugar cookie diet. Watch it. It's gonna sweep this nation like a Dyson.
To everyone else, I'll blogroll you eventually...as soon as I can figure out how I did the last blogroll. Promise.
But now, it's weekend time.
To everyone else, I'll blogroll you eventually...as soon as I can figure out how I did the last blogroll. Promise.
But now, it's weekend time.
Drew is my Champollion
Drew Bell, his finger firmly on the pulse of the Youth of America, has busted out his slang Rosetta Stone and offered this definition of the mythical "Hollaback Girl".
//Of course, you know what a "hollaback girl" is, yes? She's the second choice. The one who, when you meet her at "the club", you part with nicely, in pursuit of another. If things don't work out with the hot one, you can always holla back at easier #2.
SO:
Gwen's character says: "You've been disparaging me to others in our social group. I am not one to be trifled with, Mr. High School Metaphor. I am (to borrow from "Mr. Show") Queen Shit of Fuck Mountain, and I will now destroy you (perhaps sexually?)."//
Well, there you have it folks. From the frontlines, a plausible story to explain just what Gwen's talkin' about. This, however, still doesn't explain the 1,000 costume changes, the Harajuku afro, the grocery store diversions, the appearance of that famous African-American musical star whose name cannot be recalled, or why bananas are so blessed important. But perhaps, that will come with time. Like heiroglyphics, I will continue to wonder just what a civilization foreign to me is trying to say - and why they want it said.
//Of course, you know what a "hollaback girl" is, yes? She's the second choice. The one who, when you meet her at "the club", you part with nicely, in pursuit of another. If things don't work out with the hot one, you can always holla back at easier #2.
SO:
Gwen's character says: "You've been disparaging me to others in our social group. I am not one to be trifled with, Mr. High School Metaphor. I am (to borrow from "Mr. Show") Queen Shit of Fuck Mountain, and I will now destroy you (perhaps sexually?)."//
Well, there you have it folks. From the frontlines, a plausible story to explain just what Gwen's talkin' about. This, however, still doesn't explain the 1,000 costume changes, the Harajuku afro, the grocery store diversions, the appearance of that famous African-American musical star whose name cannot be recalled, or why bananas are so blessed important. But perhaps, that will come with time. Like heiroglyphics, I will continue to wonder just what a civilization foreign to me is trying to say - and why they want it said.
Hollawhatwhere?
I have asked many people of all sorts and styles and no one seems to be able to tell me definitively just what Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" means. It's a girl proud of her self-esteem! It's a new high school fight song with cursing! It's assistance to children learning just how many "a"s and "n"s are in "bananas"! Obviously, we have some good theories, but I suppose we're just out of the target audience range on this one. Although, Gwen's older than we are so the boggling continues.
And let's not even delve into the wackery of the video. The number of costume changes and the deployment of an afro on one of her Japanese posse just makes the mind reel.
Speaking of videos, Drew and Jill know of my weird obsession with the Shakira video for "Tortura", her new Spanish-sung number. The strange spine jolting sternum shifting and the amount of oily black goo our Columbian rump shaker uses to seduce us through the television screen doesn't really work on me. And darling, scooting across a table in the manner of a wounded spider is not foxy. Not foxy at all. Perhaps it all makes sense with the lyrics, I'll never know as I don't speak Spanish, but I honestly can't imagine the words that would explain those antics.
And let's not even delve into the wackery of the video. The number of costume changes and the deployment of an afro on one of her Japanese posse just makes the mind reel.
Speaking of videos, Drew and Jill know of my weird obsession with the Shakira video for "Tortura", her new Spanish-sung number. The strange spine jolting sternum shifting and the amount of oily black goo our Columbian rump shaker uses to seduce us through the television screen doesn't really work on me. And darling, scooting across a table in the manner of a wounded spider is not foxy. Not foxy at all. Perhaps it all makes sense with the lyrics, I'll never know as I don't speak Spanish, but I honestly can't imagine the words that would explain those antics.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Budgeting, Volume One
Do you know how much refrigerators are? Their job is to keep things cold. That's it. It's not to think or process or type brilliant thesis papers on the current state of the rainforest. It's job is to be plugged in and chill. The end. Nothing more, nothing less. And these bitches, which weigh a crapload and take up even more room, cost thousands of dollars. I can get a computer which, while I don't really use them to their full capacity, can do more than a refrigerator can do in less space. Can't we just go back to iceboxes? I can get ice on the cheap at the 7-11.
Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do
My crush on Miss Garner is officially over. I will hereby no longer refer to her as "my girlfriend", I will change my screensaver on the iMac, I will breeze past magazines with her on the cover, and I'm even starting to slack on my "Alias" love because I know the Affliction's seed will surely ruin next season for me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I understand the world. I'm sure she's a lovely girl. I'm sure she's just a lady lookin' for love. Heck, at one time, we all were. But there's a choice one makes. One dates "the wrong type" because they're fun and crazy and probably a bit off-kilter, mentally, or maybe they're brooding and manic and your "new project", but one doesn't marry those people, let alone procreate with them. That's just not how you do it. Even the bores on that "Sex and the City" show would approve of my advice. Enjoy them while it lasts, then find yourself a nice, stable boy to settle down with. (Not someone that deals with mucking out stalls, mind, unless he's also the owner of said stalls.) Miss Garner happily glossed over those rules, blocked out the horror that was Bennifer, ignored the rehab and the gambling and the lap dances and the drugs, and went straight into utter gaga (which means utter gag over here). And yes, you can't help who you fall in love with, but at least you can put yourself out of harm's way when you're falling.
So, although I'm sorely disappointed, and I admit, a twinge heartbroken, I still wish her a happy life, the ridiculously adorable thing. But, I'm just not going to be that interested in it anymore.
Now, don't get me wrong. I understand the world. I'm sure she's a lovely girl. I'm sure she's just a lady lookin' for love. Heck, at one time, we all were. But there's a choice one makes. One dates "the wrong type" because they're fun and crazy and probably a bit off-kilter, mentally, or maybe they're brooding and manic and your "new project", but one doesn't marry those people, let alone procreate with them. That's just not how you do it. Even the bores on that "Sex and the City" show would approve of my advice. Enjoy them while it lasts, then find yourself a nice, stable boy to settle down with. (Not someone that deals with mucking out stalls, mind, unless he's also the owner of said stalls.) Miss Garner happily glossed over those rules, blocked out the horror that was Bennifer, ignored the rehab and the gambling and the lap dances and the drugs, and went straight into utter gaga (which means utter gag over here). And yes, you can't help who you fall in love with, but at least you can put yourself out of harm's way when you're falling.
So, although I'm sorely disappointed, and I admit, a twinge heartbroken, I still wish her a happy life, the ridiculously adorable thing. But, I'm just not going to be that interested in it anymore.
Sewercam Only Gets One Channel
Unfortunately. But if you're interested, I have a VHS tape of the sewer line I'm about to spend ridiculous amounts of money to own. There's some sagging and rust, but nothing drastic so it's all good. Or mostly good. Well, it's good enough. For now.
And I made a list of all the things that need to be done to the house while I was there and it seems like more than just the few things I'd noted before. Really looking at things certainly reveals the flaws. So far though, the leather jacket hanging in the closet is still there so that may be my new ironic outerwear - the used outerwear that's more expensive than chinchilla.
And I made a list of all the things that need to be done to the house while I was there and it seems like more than just the few things I'd noted before. Really looking at things certainly reveals the flaws. So far though, the leather jacket hanging in the closet is still there so that may be my new ironic outerwear - the used outerwear that's more expensive than chinchilla.
Joel Por La Futuro!
Joel Por La Futuro!
My friend Joel is running for Mayor of San Diego. His platform includes a Fat Tax based on constituents' BMI, renting space to coffee houses for placement in libraries, auctioning off naming rights of streets currently named solely with letters, and the fact that he has good hair.
That's Joel for you.
And honesly, if I were in California, I'd vote for him - even though he is a Republican. My taxes would be delightfully lower.
My friend Joel is running for Mayor of San Diego. His platform includes a Fat Tax based on constituents' BMI, renting space to coffee houses for placement in libraries, auctioning off naming rights of streets currently named solely with letters, and the fact that he has good hair.
That's Joel for you.
And honesly, if I were in California, I'd vote for him - even though he is a Republican. My taxes would be delightfully lower.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Hmmm...
It's that easy, is it?
Now that it's done, what on earth do I have to say that will make any impact on ... oh ... anyone?
I suppose we shall see.
This will do for now, pig. Later, we'll have to have a proper blog
Now that it's done, what on earth do I have to say that will make any impact on ... oh ... anyone?
I suppose we shall see.
This will do for now, pig. Later, we'll have to have a proper blog
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