Never Again.

The mother of all surveys stolen from Sarah at http://fallswithgrace.blogspot.com/.

BASICS

Birthday: 10.2.1973. It's one of my favorite days of the year and I'll remind you every chance I get. Hell, I wear a sash that reads "It's My Goddamn Birthday" on that day.
Sign: Libra.
Siblings: One brother.
Eye color: Blue
Shoe size: 8.
Height: 5'9"
What are you? I'm just a girl in the world. That's all that you'll let me be.
Innie or outie? Innie
What are you wearing right now? Red plaid boxers and a white tee.
Where do you live? In a caboose in the Loo.
Righty or lefty? Righty.
Can you make a dollar in change right now? I have a lot of change, but I rarely have a dollar.

FAVORITE STUFF

Where is your fav place to shop? NYC.
Favorite kind of pants? Skirts.
Color? Green.
Number? 27.
Animal? Elephants, giraffes, whales, dogs, monkeys, apes.
Drink: Newcastle, Manhattans, Tom Collins's.
Sport(s): Swimming. Which I don't do nearly enough of.
Month: October. Birthday, Hallowe'en, Autumn. Perfect.
Band: The Divine Comedy, Soul Coughing, Frou Frou.
Movie: First 3 that come to mind from the favorite list - The Royal Tenenbaums, His Girl Friday, Funny Face.
Juice: White grape.
Finger: I'm going to go with right hand pinky because it seems so...forgotten.
Breakfast: Creole Eggs Benedict from Duff's.
Perfume: Creed's Silver Mountain Water.
Favorite Cartoon Character: Disney's Alice in Wonderland.

HAVE YOU EVER?

Given anyone a bath? Yes.
Smoked? Yes.
Gone skinny dipping? Yes.
Put your tongue on a frozen pole? I saw "A Christmas Story". I learned my lesson by watching.
Loved someone so much it made you cry? I feel sorry for people that haven't.
Broken a bone? Knock wood, no.
Played truth or dare? Yes.
Been in a police car? Yes. But not for being naughty.
Fallen asleep in school? Naturally. And as I got older, that habit transferred to work.
Broken someone's heart? Probably not nearly as many times as mine's been broken.
Cried when someone died? Definitely.
Cried in school? I loved school, but I cried there - on stage, after I found out a friend died, at graduation, lots of times.
Fell off your chair? Clumsy Clara's fallen off her chair a number of times. And fallen into chairs even more.
Saved AIM conversations? Yes.
Fallen for one of your best friends? Nope. Not in a make out kinda way, but I am definitely in love with a lot of them. Like that, you mean?
Made out with JUST a friend?: Yes.
Used someone? Yes. And I'll admit it, although I'm not proud of it.
Been cheated on? Oh. I'm sure.

WHAT IS...?

Your good luck charm? I don't really have one. I guess it's the sun coming up in the morning and the moon at night. That's pretty good luck.
Best song you ever heard? "Dream A Little Dream Of Me".
Stupidest thing you have ever done? Not being brave and giving up on Chicago.
What's your room like? I'm going with the room I'm working on now - blue, white, oceany.
What is beside you? Empty soup bowl, water bottle, magazines, Tums, pillows, books, Arthur the Mountain Goat.
Last thing you ate? Uncle Ben's Broccoli, Cheddar & Rice soup and pulpy orange juice.
What kind of shampoo do you use? Anything not using animal products or tested on animals. Nature's Gate at the moment, but Giovanni and Phytologie products are brilliant.
Best thing that has happened to you this year? There's a lot of good things, but no bests.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD...?

Chicken pox? Yes. Hell, I liked it so much I took it up a notch and got shingles!
Sore Throat? I have one right now and I'm really afraid it's strep.
Stitches? On my foot when I was 3. Cut it on a glass soap dish.
Broken nose? I wish. I could have it reset and get rid of this bump. All the times I've been hit in the head in sports and never once did I get a broken nose.

DO YOU...?

Believe in love at first sight? Most certainly.
Believe in LOVE? If you don't love somethin', you ain't got nothin'.
Like picnics? I carry around an emergency picnic blanket in the trunk. Yeah, I like picnics.

WHO...?

Who was the last person that called you? My brother.
Who was the last person you slow danced with? Someone at work, I believe. I think we were goofing off.
Who makes you laugh the most? I'm lucky that I have a lot of people that make me laugh super hard on a daily basis.
Who makes you smile daily? I'd say the world makes me smile on an hourly basis. There was a cat sitting in a barrel today just peeking out. How can a cat peek out of a barrel? Well, the cat can if it's really a planter, but from far away it was lip of barrel, cat head in that order. And he hung out there all day. So brilliant I had to take a photo.
Who was the last person you yelled at? Henry.
Who has broken your heart? Boys, the world, evil, loneliness, orphaned elephants.

DO YOU/ARE YOU...?

Do you wear contacts or glasses? Sadly, no glasses. Fortunately, no contacts.
You like yourself? I do. I'm certainly not perfect, but I try to be a good person and that's all any of us can do on a day-to-day basis.
Do you get along with your family? Yes. They're good people.
Stolen anything over $50? Probably.
Obsessive? Compulsive? Do I have to pick just one? I'll take both, thanks.
Anorexic? I consider it from time to time. It would make trying on clothes so much more pleasant, but oh, food. How I love thee!

FINAL QUESTIONS

What did you do yesterday? Paint, walked the mall with Gwenny, ate avocado egg rolls, watched "Arrested Development", ironed, didn't sleep.
Hated someone in your family? Yes.
What car do you wish to have? Toyota Prius.
Where do you want to get married? I'm not really a get married sort of person. But I'll take a long vacation in Fiji.
Good driver? I think so. I'm polite, drive super close to the speed limit, and I've only been sued once over an accident I didn't cause.
Good dancer? I need to get back to ballet and see.
Good singer? No. And I never claimed to be.
Have a lava lamp? Oh, heavens no.
How many remote controls are in your house? Too many. 5?
Are you double jointed? No.
Last time you took a bath? I don't have a bathtub yet, unfortunately. I'd be in it now if I had one.
The last movie you saw at the theatres? Regrettably, "Step Up". I was hoping for "Save The Last Dance"/"Bring It On". Sadly, it was neither.
Scary or happy movies? Whatever you got.
Chocolate or white chocolate? I'm not really a sweets person.
Root Beer or Dr.Pepper? Neither. Squirt's my latest favorite.
Mud or Jell-O wrestling? What the hell kind of question is that?
Vanilla or chocolate? Vanilla. Sweet vanilla.
Skiing or boarding? I wish I were at boarding school right now. A preppy youth's dream come true.
Summer or winter? Winter. Snow. How I love snow.
Silver or gold? I'll take platinum. I could use the investment right now.
Diamond or pearl? Is this a Prince related question? I'll just go with solid metals for now. Prince is kinda skeevy.
Sunset or sunrise? Sunsets. I'm no morning person.
Cats or dogs? Dogs.
Coffee or tea? Tea. Coffee makes me pukey.
Phone or in person? Oh how I hate the phone. I hate cell phones and although I have rollover minutes, those might as well be burned off by someone else because I'll have millions stored up and never use them. And I really hate voicemail. Ugh.
Are you oldest, middle, youngest, or only? Oldest.

I believe in ghosts, I believe that Crystal is the best hot sauce for eggs, I believe in NPR, I believe that "CSI:Miami" is the bestworst show on TV, I believe that someday I'll be able to have a dog, I believe that this is all you could ever want to know about me, and I can't believe I've wasted so much time on this thing.

Icons Don't Need Updates

The Sartorialist wrote a post about Mary Tyler Moore recently and the comments have me thinking. Why do we constantly need to update icons? Why does someone need to be the new version of an older performer? Why can't those icons stand the test of time without us trying to update them for our current media as if new actors can't stand on their own merits? Are we so simple that we can't relate to newcomers without tying them to someone we're familiar with? I grew so tired of the "Debra Messing is the new Lucille Ball" comparison because no matter what Debra might do, she's not the new Lucille Ball. Lucille Ball was Lucille Ball and she's Debra Messing, moderately comedic actress who happens to dye her hair red. To be honest, she wasn't even that comedic. I find it all so demeaning to the predecessors to assume that their individuality can be co-opted by someone else 30 years later.

And for that matter, why aren't the old movies enough without the remakes - the adaptations for today? I think we all get the plot of "Sabrina" without having Harrison Ford in it. I'm pretty sure we're all into the "Poseidon" thing. Boat flips, tragedy, triumph, but no awesome theme like "The Morning After" in the sunk-before-it-swam revisiting.

Solution? Parents, show your kids the old movies. Let them see the stars and the plots for themselves. And although we'll always have Wolfgang and celebrity profile writers looking to make a connection, at least we'll know that they're all just not as good as the originals.

Camp Anaconda

That's where my cousinish will be stationed when she reaches Iraq shortly after Thanksgiving. (I say "cousinish" because I am still unclear on the family tree.) Yesterday was her going away party with family and friends out near the shore of the Mississippi in Portage des Sioux (look it up. Lots of history.). It was an absolutely stunning summer day - sunny, blue sky, cool breeze - and I just loved being out there with the family. But the only thing that kept running through my head was "my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun" (whip crack). Fortunately, it was going through cousinish's head as well.

I can't wait to innundate her with Sir Mix-A-Lot memorabilia.

New Age Agony

I sometimes get frustrated when people don't update their blogs on a regular basis. These are blogs of people I don't even know. The people I DO know, I find myself growing angry if they let their blog go for 2 days. I think this is a sign that I need to read books or that y'all need to get more interesting lives.

The Things They Want Me To Do

In the last week, the two owners of the company I work for have decided I need to replicate these two photos.





I haven't decided which one we should tackle first.

Glory Days

Tent, Promenade, Atelier

How I wish we could all be there, my darlings. Oh, how I wish.

Peter Pan Has Some Strong Feelings About Net Neutrality

We Are The Web

The music video's a bit long, but the kittens show up and those hamsters with big lips.

Baby Ruth!

"The Goonies" next Friday night at midnight at the Tivoli. Be there or be a Fratelli.

Just Because I'm Veggie Doesn't Mean I Can't Respect The Other Team

from Brentter

MySpace, Queen of Time Wasters

I know. I feel like the person who showed up for Woodstock a week late. Regardless, I love making lists about my favorite things so I've made a page.

Yeah. Super exciting Saturday night.

My View, Bitches

I once loved "Survivor". I don't any longer, but back in the day, I won the office "Survivor" pool based on my guessing and my love for Elisabeth Hasselbeck. If I didn't find her daddy/daughter relationship with corn-fed Roger so endearing, I wouldn't have liked her nearly as much and I definitely wouldn't have won. So, I thank her for that. But, I don't thank her for her backwards hillbilly take on emergency contraception.

Her "slippery slope" argument holds about as much water as a thimble and I'd personally love for her to go with me on SART calls and she can explain why the 40-year-old woman who was raped by her husband, isn't being believed by police, and is paranoid about getting pregnant should be more conscious of her maybe baby and less about herself. And yeah, I know Behar threw out the extreme twelve-year-old-incest-survivor example, but that's like 1 in 100,000. It's the women that have tiny shreds of hope left and peer-pressured, experimenting teenagers and women who just made a bad decision about a guy that need those pills and the women that have bigger issues on their mind like getting in a shelter or pressing charges. Plus, there's enough freakin' babies in this world and I personally don't think we need any more when so many don't even have homes or mothers or football playing daddies. Frankly, if I knew then what I know now, I would have donated my winnings to Planned Parenthood in her name. So enjoy this video of Babwah Wahwah laying down the law on "The View".

Women's Rights, Take One Feeble Daytime Host Sized Step Back

And on a completely different note, is that Lisa Loeb? Is that one of the strangest guest hosts for that show? Who next? Tabitha Soren? Samantha Fox?

Dave of the FMD

Where are you? I read this and immediately thought of you. And of poor Angela.

Good-bye Audrey Lindvall

Work Schmirk

It's been a whole year since I started working for Propaganda. A whole year. Wow. It seems like just yesterday that I pulled a bottle of Dewars out of our scary Brady Bunch kitchen cabinet and downed a shot after telling CPG that I was really leaving. In front of my mother. Who didn't find it either amusing or soothing. I, however, found it to be both. But, seeing as how it's been a whole year, I thought I'd share with the 6 of you where I work. Not really where because I've had a real stalker before and it's more creepy than thrilling, but rather my inside work desk-type environs.






Part of my desk! That other part of my desk! And, if it can be believed, yet even another part of my desk!!

Things you might recognize from your lives: a phone! a bottle of Tums (mint flavor, please)! paper! is that a notebook? various drinks!

Things you might not recognize from your lives: the lion that burps! the badge that gives me full power to bust people at the Hotel Intercontinental in Dallas! uh...my free Curious George from our printer Brian!

And yet one more strange thing, the whole thing is BACKWARDS!!! Zany MacBook and its reverso-camera!!!

The Simple Brain

I cracked myself up on the way home. Seriously, laughing in the car by your self is considered cracking yourself up 'round these parts.

Why, you ask? It's nearly time to hit the polls again and after the last time I voted, during the '04 presidential election, I was a little less than enthusiastic about doing it again. I mean look how THAT turned out. But, I'm a little trooper and my America needs me now more than ever and I'm so gung-ho that I even have a lawn sign and everything for one of our local candidates. On the way home today, I caught sight of lawn sign for a candidate that I'd never heard of before. She's running for collector of revenue. Her name....Kate Suave. No lie. How can I vote for someone who's name is "Suave" and seriously expect them to be good at handling money? She's probably married to Rico and on the side they run a shampoo company.

So, these thoughts, all of the just plain dumb, made me laugh out loud. Then I kept it going when I noticed the guy sitting at the light behind me. He was bald, big moustache, sleeves removed tee guy and I thought he was driving his grandma around because I could have sworn that was her in the backseat. But no. It was a big apricot colored poodle.

How could I not crack up?