Someone who lives with me (and shall remain blissfully anonymous to protect him from the rabid Bonnie Tyler fans the world over) thinks "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" isn't cool and I simply have to respond in a public forum.
1. Bonnie Tyler loses her voice after each and every performance of that song. Maybe she doesn't really, but the way she belts those lyrics out, she probably could. Lots of hot tea and honey, that one has.
2. It's seven freakin' minutes! SEVEN! That takes guts!
3. The background sleigh bells.
4. The "fireworks" courtesy the song's prodigious drum section during the bridge.
5. The girly "turn around bright eyes" bits. That's pure genius. The juxtaposition of Bonnie's husky man voice and the high-pitched crooning of the prissy male voice? It's like two great tastes that taste just the opposite of how you think they should.
6. Melancholy piano open AND close = destined for greatness. Most just take the open or the close. Both? That means the song's SERIOUS.
7. Castanets play a big role in the song. Castanets, people.
8. There's that whoosh of wind in there that makes you feel like you're out on the moors with Bonnie in some puffy sleeved ensemble, hair crimped, eyes blue-eyeshadowed, hoping that now isn't the moment when she falls apart.
9. "Once upon a time there was light in my life, now there's only love in the dark." Just let that sink in for a minute.
10. It's "Total Eclipse Of THE Heart", not "My Heart" or "A Heart" but rather THE heart. That means that Bonnie's heart is the only heart and it's been eclipsed. Your heart doesn't matter here. It's THE heart we should worry about.
11. That it takes itself so goddamn seriously. Back in the 80's there was some dude who was like the board operator for that song and used it as his calling card for the ladies. You know he did. And he probably had a non-ironic mullet and shoulder pads.
And that's just eleven of the reasons that I have a ridiculous level of love for the goofy drama that is "Total Eclipse Of The Heart". If that doesn't make my case, I don't know what will.
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4 comments:
Would it be going too far if I said that "Holding Out For a Hero" deserves a little respect as well?
I'm not much of a fan, but I must admit that there's something about the judicious use of key changes in music that's always very affecting, and the particular instance of key changes around the "Turn around..." bits can occasionally raise the hairs on the back of my arms.
You've obviously given this much more thought than I have. I'm glad you have fond memories of this tune while I cringe everytime I hear it! Why, you ask? Because, my friend, I worked for 5 years as a karaoke host. Any Jim Steinman tune got a groan from everyone in the room except the person singing. The singer was in heaven while the rest of us were surely in hell -- or at least purgatory. Please tell me you do not also have a soft spot for "Paradise By the Dashboard Light". Lordhavemercy!
No love for Meat Loaf songs, Kim. You're in the clear. And casey, "Holding Out For A Hero" is also genius for a lot of the same reasons.
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