Arrest Me, FOX

"Arrested Development"'s been cut back to 13 episodes.

Does no one out there have grey matter in their craniums? Honestly, I know I've been the proponent of underdog shows before, but this one is the most accessible of them all. "Twin Peaks"? C'mon. I know damn well you had to start watching that thing from the beginning in order to understand it. And I've watched in marathon and STILL don't understand parts (Josie as drawer pull? What?), but I love all its wackiness and its creation of its own little world. "The X-Files"? I harped on that show to the point where people started asking me to not talk about it before I even got started. And it was huge. "ALIAS"? Sure I haven't watched on this season, but for a good 3 seasons, that was my show. And now, my sweet mai tai of comedy, "Arrested Development" is being killed before my eyes. In tribute, I thought I'd make a list of shows available to those of you who might be seeking something less hilarious, tautly written, worse acted, and less interesting. Y'know, so we can keep the trend alive.

"King of Queens"
"The Bachelor"
"E.R."
"Hope & Faith"
"Hot Properties"
That thing with Freddie Prinze Jr. who couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag that came with explicit, point-by-point lessons and had signs illustrating them in pictograms lining the bag walls
"Dancing With The Stars" (god help us)
"Law & Order: SVU, CPU, UPN, LMNOP, Criminal Intent, and Decaf"
"Survivor"
"Surface/Threshold/Invasion"
"Two and a Half Men"
"The Apprentice" whoever's firing
My god "JOEY"'s still on for chrissakes!!!???!!!
"Crossing Jordan", also a shocker it's not been cancelled. Honestly.
"Will & Grace". Please.

So think about it, darlings, and send FOX a sweet letter telling them their taste is much better than their competitors.