Globetrotting With The Slutty Creeker

So Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger want to move to Amsterdam or Greece or somewhere, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and brood want to move to Paris, Georgy Boy Clooney already has a joint in Italy, and celebrities all over the nation - large or small - are seeking refuge on foreign soil.

Here's my big question. Why'd you become a celebrity in the first place? And don't say it's because you love your art. If you were in "Ocean's 12", you wouldn't know your art if it hit you square in the face. Don't try to pander to our delicate sensibilities and say it's because you simply can't live without acting. I know there are people out there who actually feel that way and aren't snapped leaving the grocery store.

So, now that you're a celebrity (and I still don't consider Michelle Williams a celebrity. Just because you were the slutty Creeker and you were barely in a boring Ang Lee movie does not you a celebrity make.) you can just pick up and pull a Depp and hide? Okay. That's fine. But note this:
I've never seen more Brangelina photos on gossip sites since they've been in gay Paree.
The "watergunning" that nearly provoked the Ledge to fisticuffs was not in America.

Here's a general rule of thumb for all those striving to lead a personal life: if you stay away from the media, they stay away from you. Matt Damon. What's he up to? I don't know. Charlize Theron? Got me. What about the day-to-day looks of one Ms. Barbra Streisand? Couldn't elaborate. And for that matter, what's keeping the Cloon busy when it's not award season? I'm stumped. You know why? They don't go to the Ivy, they don't hang around with a Lohan or a Hilton, they aren't constantly putting themselves out there and making a scene. Sure a case could be made that AngeliBrad ran off to Africa and still got snapped, but they were part of a big ol' break up at the time and the people, they want to know. And I suppose there are spottings of other celebs all over Gawker.com and Defamer.com. But, unfortunately, that's why you are a celebrity. You want people to be in your bidness - to come to your movie, to watch your TV show, to take an interest in your career. It's called a Q Score and if you want that moment on Oprah's lounge chair, you gotta put up with a little tabloid nonsense.

So Michelle "Not A Celebrity" Williams, if you don't want the intrusion, ditch the passport and be a CPA.