
I make fun of them while becoming one of them. It's like pod people, but replace the pod with a dishwasher safe insulated mug. So, here's the deal: I love Starbucks.
Hold on there, cowboy. Don't ride off just yet. I have a whole explanation for you.
So, I don't drink coffee. Makes me long for the days of the vomitorium when heaving was socially acceptable. But I love tea. No, sassafrass, I don't go there to pay for hot water and a tea bag. I go there for the grande chai latte. And now I've discovered a new thing that will turn me into one of those stereotypical yuppie Volvo drivers - the incredibly specific order. No longer can I just order the grande chai. Oh no. Now I have to order the grande chai with whole milk, no water, in my red Starbucks cup. (Oh god. Just seeing it all typed out there makes me a little embarrassed.)
And yes, I could get a chai latte from any number of purveyors in my general area. The thing is, they're all too strong. Give me a chai from Hartford Coffee and I'm jittery and jumpy and my tongue's tingly and it's no fun at all. Coffeehouse in Lafayette Square? Move out of the way Condi Rice, I can solve the Mid East peace shit AND walk all the neighborhood dogs while writing the great American novel. Starbucks? Ahhh...utter mediocrity. The perfect blend of milky blandness - pepped up, but comfortably so. (I'm not sure that this admission that I like it because it's blah makes me appear worse or Starbucks.)
But, now I am so addicted to the grande chai with whole, no water, in a personal mug that I have to order it
that way. And that's the worst part. It's not that I occasionally treat myself before work in the morning, it's not that I actually GO to Starbucks (everyone has at some point), it's that I have my little pet order that is utterly ridiculous. Fortunately, I'm starting to get to know all the employees at my local and with any luck they will just see me and know that's what I'm after so I don't have to actually utter those words again.