I make fun of them while becoming one of them. It's like pod people, but replace the pod with a dishwasher safe insulated mug. So, here's the deal: I love Starbucks.
Hold on there, cowboy. Don't ride off just yet. I have a whole explanation for you.
So, I don't drink coffee. Makes me long for the days of the vomitorium when heaving was socially acceptable. But I love tea. No, sassafrass, I don't go there to pay for hot water and a tea bag. I go there for the grande chai latte. And now I've discovered a new thing that will turn me into one of those stereotypical yuppie Volvo drivers - the incredibly specific order. No longer can I just order the grande chai. Oh no. Now I have to order the grande chai with whole milk, no water, in my red Starbucks cup. (Oh god. Just seeing it all typed out there makes me a little embarrassed.)
And yes, I could get a chai latte from any number of purveyors in my general area. The thing is, they're all too strong. Give me a chai from Hartford Coffee and I'm jittery and jumpy and my tongue's tingly and it's no fun at all. Coffeehouse in Lafayette Square? Move out of the way Condi Rice, I can solve the Mid East peace shit AND walk all the neighborhood dogs while writing the great American novel. Starbucks? Ahhh...utter mediocrity. The perfect blend of milky blandness - pepped up, but comfortably so. (I'm not sure that this admission that I like it because it's blah makes me appear worse or Starbucks.)
But, now I am so addicted to the grande chai with whole, no water, in a personal mug that I have to order it that way. And that's the worst part. It's not that I occasionally treat myself before work in the morning, it's not that I actually GO to Starbucks (everyone has at some point), it's that I have my little pet order that is utterly ridiculous. Fortunately, I'm starting to get to know all the employees at my local and with any luck they will just see me and know that's what I'm after so I don't have to actually utter those words again.
3 comments:
i, too, have finally admitted to myself that i like starbucks. (i still can't stomach saying the word "love," so a strong like is all i can give at this point.) i prefer intelligentsia, but their lack of prominence in certain parts of the city makes patronage difficult. so yeah, starbucks. like you, i don't like coffee nor am i allowed to drink it (it makes me loopy, don'tyaknow?). my drink of choice is a tall no whip, non-fat hot chocolate.
lame i am.
My local baristas know me by name. They also know that I go to the theatre several times a month and always ask me to review the latest plays. They cannot, however, have my drink ready because I change it all the time. Gotta keep them on their toes, ya know.
Chai latte is the best liquid known to man. I always try to get mine with dragon's milk but they always seem to have just run out.
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