America, I Need You

Well, frankly, U.K., I need you indirectly. I've got mad love for a certain crisp of yours. It's, well, it's sublime, frankly, and I don't know how you people do it. You really have a gift with the potatoes. I know we make a ton of chips, but you people really did it right. And for all the efforts we've made to duplicate your life/society, we decided to make really shitty snackfoodz as our ultimate bugger off to the Queen. I feel this may have been the worst decision we could have made. So, what's this all about then? I NEED HULA HOOPS! I've looked online for them and christ the shipping is like, uh, $40. The actual foodstuff is only about $10. So, I appeal to you, former colony and current...uh...colony, help me get Hula Hoops. Find them online with relatively inexpensive shipping fees! Brits - stash them in boxes and mail them to me labeled "gift"! Or all 6 of you could fly over there returning with sacks of them, original flavor only, in return for the feeble entertainment I've given you through this humble blog (perhaps the least logical/economical option, but wouldn't you 6 have such fun together?)!

Here's what they look like: