If Only This Were A Job Interview

My darlingest Danielle posted me some interview questions over at her site (www.knottyyarn.com) that I'm all excited to answer and so, without further ado:

1. You have the choice to live anywhere in the world - where will it be and why?

This is one of those questions that can be answered in a billion different ways based on how I feel that day. Right now, today, at 11:19am, I really just want to move to Fiji and live in a little bure over the water with books and music. The reason being, I'm feeling a bit pulled right now and would really just like some lapping waves, some rum, and some time to be still.

Other locales that come up, depending on my stress level, are London, Wyoming, Florence, New Zealand, Cannon Beach, and Jamaica.

2. Gwyneth Paltrow and Renee Zelweg...Zelleweg..SKELETOR challenge you to a steel-cage match. Who do you pummel first and what illegal tools do you bring into the ring?

Well, since the dream, Paltrow gets the pass and I'm going after Skeletor first because I'd like to get that Drunkandsmirky smirk off her face and pry her squinty little eyes open. Required tools include: Super Glue, headphones and a Kenny Chesney CD on repeat, and a dozen Hardee's Thickburgers.

Then, after she was sufficiently de-smirked, I'd ask Gwyneth out for a beer and find out if all the things I assume about her are true. (If they are, she'll be back in the cage and my required tools will be all old Vogue Magazine interviews with her - edited to only include the obviously bitchy stuff, a bullhorn, another dozen Hardee's Thickburgers, a baby name book, and her Oscar and its acceptance speech because she deserves to be beaten with it while listening to her insipidness.)

3. Who is the most influential person for you?

The person that I usually think of is Mr. Wayne Loui, my theatre professor in college. There was one life-altering conversation that we had when I was a senior in college that really impressed upon me that this person was one of those people that I would, and could, never forget. I think of him now like people who've taken care of wild things must feel - they're out there and hopefully, every now and again, they think of you, but we had our time and it's best to leave it at that. (Not to sound fatalistic about the relationship. I'm sure Mr. Loui would be happy to hear from me. I just know that we could never go back to those long conversations in his little office that meant so much to me and it would be somehow disappointing.)

4. If you had one day to re-live, which day would you choose and why?

Gosh. One day. I would honestly be afraid to relive any days for fear that I'd somehow mess it up and then wreck the days that followed. But, if I really, truly had to pick one day, I suppose it'd be the day I managed to work my way into the rare book room at the New York Public Library to see a first edition of an Edith Wharton book, went to Tiffany's and got to try on wildly expensive jewelry with a sweetheart of an employee, went to Barney's to try on wildly expensive clothes courtesy of a sweetheart of an employee, and just had an all-around delightfully charming day. If I messed that up, I doubt it would really impact the days subsequent so I'll pick that one. A close runner-up would be any of the days Henry and I spent in Jamaica right by the ocean surrounded by beauty and sweetness. I doubt those could ever be wrecked.

5. What is your favorite way to spend a vacation?

You're hitting me hard with this one as I'm looking at my bank account and comparing it to the list of things to do to the house and am unable to see a vacation at any point in the near future - and I LOVE vacation.

There's two ways to spend a vacation - doing things counting on the fact that these people will never see you again, and doing things you just don't get to do at home. One involves a bit of daring, like maybe an accent that could be blown by someone you know or someone you've met, and the second involves a bit of daring too because it's hard to break the mold of work.

I like to immerse myself in where ever I am - go to local places, talk to regulars, get to know the real town or area. I really dislike touristy locales (although I love museums and churches and kitschy sites) so I'd rather dodge those in favor of really living with the people that really live there. To me, that's getting away from it all - becoming a part of another landscape and making it become a part of you.

And man, do I love answering questions. LOVE!

Thank you, Danielle.