The first in a series of factoids that fully and inexorably illustrate the decline of our modern society. Some may be profound, some may be utterly frivolous, but people, profundity and frivolity are what make the world go round. Our first Sign Society Is Eroding:
Knocked up Kat(i)e Holmes.
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3 comments:
I wonder if Scientology can explain that.
Immaculate conception by Xemu or something?
I'm sure Tom will go on Opra and tell us about how his wife is glowing, how much he loves his wife and baby, how she'll never suffer from post-partum depression because it just doesn't exist. Nine months or so of this Tom-generated crap is enough to make me want to pull my hair out. Or his.
I LOVE TOM CRUISE! Is there anything more heartwarming/heartbreaking than what Tom Cruise's baby will be like? If Britney can do it, why not Tom? I welcome the four horsemen. They're cool. I mean, have you heard the song Ghost Riders in the Sky, it's awesome!!! I hope the end of all things is like that.
So, I guess the modern day plague of locusts would be the offspring of all these marginally retarded unremarkable celebs. Would you rather Tom Cruise have a kid or acknowledge the existence of Gwenyth's baby Apple or whatever the hell she named her damaged spawn? Goose Cruise, sounds waaay cooler than ... Apple. We're also forgetting that the king of pop has a kid which was NOT produced by Quincy Jones, so where does THAT leave us? Apocalypse? You betcha.
So, you take equal measures of Samurai, Vampire, F-14, and a stock car. Toss in a a dash of unhandle-ible truth, a pinch of autism, and 1 ounce of Midori (for color). Shake and serve over ice(man) in a rocks glass wrapped in an oxford shirt and hanes briefs.
And that is how Tom got Katie pregnant.
Now what do you think, were they making sweet, sweet love to Kenny Loggin's Danger Zone, Berlin's Take My Breath Away, or an audio copy of Dianetics narrated by Vinnie Barbarino?
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