2007 Wish List

To be added to as opportunities present themselves and in no certain order.

1. For all hipster girls - Cory Kennedy, I'm looking in your direction - to wash their hair and wear less bottom eyeliner. Sure, you've got that whole "I love the thrift store" thing going for you and I suppose most go through that phase, but everytime I see a photo of you lassies I want to Phyto you within an inch of your life. Look how pretty Leigh Lezark looks with her clean and shiny locks! And the bottom eyeliner can work if combined with top eyeliner. I've got high school portraits of me with only the bottom and if I knew then what I know now, I might not cringe each time I see those shots hanging in my parents' house.

2. The swift and sudden snap in which the Bush family, the Hilton sisters, reality TV, the KFed phase, drunken Lindsay Lohan, evil Dick Cheney, the song "Gold Digger" and Jamie Foxx's incessant singing of it, the Iraq fuck-a-thon, Rachel Zoe, TomKat, and all of Scientology just poof from the face of the earth. I think I might actually like reading and hearing the news should that happen. Although nature abhors a vacuum, I'm sure there'd be a good day or so in there. And yes, I'm aware of my grouping of inane, fluffy things with weighty matters, but they've all contributed to my general frustration in the last year and it's probably best if this doesn't turn into an OAA Rants About How Much She Hates The Government blog. There's enough of those out there and I'm trying to limit my use of the F-word knowing that HeyDanEvans' mom-in-law might be reading.

3. A bicycle. Is it so wrong to want a bicycle?

4. A completed first floor of the caboose. This includes painting, bathrooming, box springing, and baseboarding. I just long for the day when the house looks presentable and must, must, must take a more active role in this pursuit.

5. A trip to NYC to visit Lynnie. I miss Lynnie and want to see her for girly fun involving Park Bar, shoe shopping, and brunches.

6. Juh-may-cuh trip. Humphrey misses me. I just know it.

7. All my friends to get married near me. I know this sounds evil and selfish and I'm sincerely really really really happy for all of them because they're all wonderful and astonishingly good people and deserve all the love and joy in the world and I honestly like traveling, but for the past seven years I haven't had one without a wedding out of town. So, let's keep getting married and keep falling in love, but let's do it all within a 100 mile radius of the STL. I'm getting old and lazy and want to save my money to go back to Europe...and what, isn't there enough love in the STL?

8. World peace. Lame answer? Sure. Honest? Yeah.

9. To see "Talladega Nights" so that people will quit asking me if I've seen it and then acting like I'm mentally deranged because I haven't.