Gio Tracker

It's easy, really. When you're Armani, pretty much anything you send out there is liked. Why? Because it's simple, clean, minimalist, classy. But, that's kinda boring. There's only so many black satin halter dresses one can see in one's life before they all start to blur. And, frankly, that's how I feel about our little Giorgio. He's fantastic - please don't get me wrong - and if I were going to some fabulous occasion and had a fabulously fat wallet, you can be sure I'd be shopping his boutique, but live a little, man! We need more than just exquisite tailoring and timeless looks!

So, it's Gio's second time for couture and he delivered in the fancy dress department, 'natch. But there were some early daywear looks that called to mind a certain female welder from a certain flashy and dancy movie of the 80's.



Oh. My. God. I mean I know full well that Armani came to power with his costuming of that Richard Gere tour de force "American Gigolo" and that that flick was made at the very tippy tip of the 80's iceberg, but honestly. Ugh. And the rest of the daywear, if one can call satin pantsuits daywear, was just as 80's-tastic. Scary rosettes, pleated pants, and panne velvet all around. I was excited by the mention of padoga shoulders - remember that droolworthy, high-pitched look at YSL's Fall 04 RTW show? Swoon! - but these were more like tea houses than pagodas.

Fortunately, the show shifted to what we know and love about little Gio - fancy eveningwear. Nothing groundbreaking came down that runway, but there were some lovely looks. But 80's and minimalism aside, the thing that struck me most were the hats. Hats pasted to the sides of heads, hats with Sunday-go-to-meetin' curling feathers, "Bonnie and Clyde" beret hats, hats with rabbit ears.


These hats, far from seeming an afterthought, were placed just so on unsuspecting twigs and they were left to deal with the sight blocking obnoxiousness they wrought on the runway. I can only imagine some Botox-filled socialite darting out onto Madison Ave. trying to get to the Barneys cashmere sale when MON DIEU! Her Armani chapeau has blocked three lanes of traffic and she's knocked ass over tea kettle by a God's Love We Deliver van. Poor darling.

So, tracking Gio's second go-round, if you miss the 80's, attend a number of richly decorated evening galas, and are a reincarnated racehorse that favored blinders, this is your collection, darling!